The City of Dreaming Spires

Today I went to Oxford and it was no different from Oxford, Ohio with the exception of Chipoltle, Coldstone, Miami University, and several more traffic signals.  Oxford had that same unwelcoming vibe that Oxford, Ohio gives off. Sorry, dad, but it's true: Oxford, Ohio is filled with chavs, or as you like to put it 'Buffy and Chads.' Oxford, England was just the same. Not a single soul there was pleasant. In fact, one museum employee followed me around because I 'seemed suspicious.' I left that museum and went to another. At the Ashmolean Museum of Art and Archaeology I fell in an even more unwelcoming position with the staff at the museum. I walked in and they greeted me with warm smiles. I began to walk around and they told me I had to remove my backpack because it seemed 'suspicious.' There were plenty of others who were left alone, admiring what the museum had to offer but, no- I was the unsavoury character looking at the museum's artefacts that was probably about to kill everyone. With what, though? Well, I suppose I could throw Nutella sandwiches and blind everyone and then strangle those who hadn't gone blind with my mobile's charger as well as knock everyone unconscious with my paperback edition of London Lore. Feeling more insulted by the second, I thought I may as well take advantage of the free toilets the museum had before I headed out. That, too, went wrong. There was no indication that they were single-stall toilets and naturally, the woman who was about to use the toilet thought I was about to violate her. Mind you, she had just closed the door and like me, she was a woman. I'm not sure how I would violate her, but never mind that one.

Oxford had disappointed me. I had visited the city in 2009 and did not have a single issue with anyone, except one of the university bookstore shopkeepers who despised Americans. She was still there and happily didn't recognise me. She was still talking to everyone about her degree and how amazing it is. Well, ma'am, you work at a university bookstore so cut the crap.